I’ve been sitting at my computer trying to decide exactly how to say what I want to say, without much luck. Alas, I’ll let the wise words of Monica speak for me:
“It’s just one of them days, when I wanna be all alone
It’s just one of them days, when I’m angry inside
It’s just one of them days, don’t take it personal…”
Yeah. It’s exactly that.
Today is just one of them days where everything goes wrong. I’ve got some heavy life things on my mind and a whole lot of stupid little inconveniences that are managing to add up to an enormous weight. (So Virgin America, could you please get me off hold? I’ve been sitting here patiently for 75 minutes now. Love, Gina)
Lately I have put a lot of pressure on myself to get my shit together (yeah yeah, I know what I said in my last post) and I’m paying for it now. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I can hardly breathe. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep. My brain is wired. Strung out. I’m not saying that it’s okay to sit around like a slob all day, but there is a balance, a middle ground. Somewhere. I just have to find it.
This morning I was in the middle of a 5.6 sized meltdown when I screamed out to the universe, in my head of course, (can’t scare the Airbnb guests!) what the f*** are you trying to tell me?!
Well, after a few bowls of cereal, two waffles and a serious stomach age, I think I’ve got it figured out.
The universe is trying to tell me to woosah. Take a breather. Step back. I’m pretty sure she is trying to get my wandering feet to sit still (it’s storming out, like dumping), get me to quiet my brain (the wifi isn’t working) and push the reset button.
So fine. I’ll listen. Why? Because I know deep down that taking the time to acknowledge frustrations, sadness and well, feelings, gives you the power to understand them, digest them and then do something with them. They’re actually a gift, these mini (or not so mini) meltdowns. They force us to take a look at what is really going on.
So go on girl! Be alone, be angry. Then breathe, move forward and grow on.